"In a New York Minute"

I think one of the most iconic songs about New York City, I'm sure this could be debated, is Billy Joel's 1976, "New York State of Mind."  I would like to imagine that he wrote this song while ridding through the city on a rainy night, in a cab. Sitting there being bounced around as the cab cut through traffic, Billy longingly looking through the window, focusing past the raindrops composing the lyrics to what would become an iconic song. The thoughts on his mind are his and will forever be an inspiration that only he can recall, thoughts he would never share, but are felt through the sound of the piano keys and the lyrics that guide you through the monochromatic streets of Manhattan. 

For me a "New York State of Mind" is a head full of inspiration and a heart full desire. For the dreamers, New York City is a playground of opportunities. You will not be granted an ounce of opportunity unless you prove your worth. Doors do not open unless you make them, by hard work, chance, and an unparalleled desire to be the best you can be. 

There are certain times of the year when the city is a magical place, a wonderland of lust and desire, a place of magic and happiness. The weeks leading up to Christmas and the Holidays is one of those times. The city that never sleeps is illuminated by the glow of holiday decorations, lights that twinkle, sparkle, change colors, and dance through a motion of displays to entice shoppers, tourists, and New Yorkers alike. Christmas tree vendors take up space on the corners of streets, the steam rising from the streets adds texture to the ambient glow of the surroundings, the sounds of holiday music are pumped through the crisp air. Out door markets come to life as people shop for friends, loved ones, and anyone they desire to give gifts too. When the snow falls, it changes the environment drastically, creating what can only be described as a film set. 

Chelsea Market 2017

Chelsea Market

Chelsea Market Skybridge 

My wife and I locked arms as we walked across The Highline after exiting Chelsea Market. She had never been and I wanted to take her. The snow fall was at its peak when we were strolling across the slippery surface of the walkway. Carolers were singing, being filmed, people were stopping to make photos, myself included. The snow was accumulating and filling the streets, covering the holiday decorations, and creating a romantic backdrop. I took a few minutes to make some photos during our stroll.

The Highline

Lit using iPhone 7+ flash light.

I had with me my Fuji X-Pro2. It is my walk around camera, travel camera, and camera that I can depend on in in-climate weather. I wanted to make images that captured the essence of the pictorial set we were in. The Highline was the perfect backdrop to do so. With a little bit of direction I posed Sue in the environment, I used the ambient light, the snow, and the shapes of the environment to create environmental portraits. 

The Highline Entryway 

Looking up at the falling snow, The Highline Entryway 

A photograph does not have to be sharp, in focus to provide detail and tell a story. An image can stand alone, tell a story, and evoke a sense of mood and time within an environment. Such has the case with the following photograph. If you have been following along for the last few months, my Fuji X-Pro2 has a bent lens on it. Like I have mentioned before, I am in no hurry to replace it. While I can not manually adjust the f stops, the auto focus will work and put areas in focus while creating a gradation of focus fall off based on the distortion of the lenses damage.

The colors of the lights and the soft focus as the snow diffuses the city creates a tangible and soft scene. Moving from The Highline we slowly made our way towards Rockefeller Center to see the tree. Due to major traffic issues, we drove past the area and could not stop. Fighting the traffic and getting through hotel police barriers we made our way past Columbus Circle. Enticed by the charm of what we saw, we parked a few blocks away and walked back to the out door market. Browsing around and admiring the food, all good looking culinary delights, mostly carb based items that I can not eat the moment, I took in the sights and smells. 

With the amount of snow that fell I was eager to walk through the park and experience the moment. The fresh snow was nothing short of cinematic and simply beautiful. Quiet. Peaceful. Tranquil. Still. The park didn't have a lot of foot traffic. A group of men ran by in what can only be described as the most inappropriate running gear possible. With a temperature of about 2-5 degrees, they were wearing shorts. A group of people were clam backing inside a zipped up pedicab. Children, couples, and families were ice skating on the rink. An adorable family was sliding down a self made path near the pond. The snow danced between the lights as it gently fell. Out side of the park the sounds of the city could be heard. 

We weren't far from the tree and Rockefeller Center. We decided to walk down. I was on a secondary mission, find some nuts. If you never had those sugar coated cocaine like nuts, warm and delicious, you're missing out. If you have a nut allergy and can not eat them, let me describe even further so you know what you're missing out. They are both soft and warm, occasionally there will be a firm one. They are coated with a sugar that not only enhances the flavor, but widens your pupils and sends endorphins coursing through your body. Each is tightly wrapped and ready to be consumed at once. There is no saving and enjoying later. There is only, take a hit and repeat or take a hit and pass the bag and share with the person you care the most about. I needed to find some of those nuts. I figured I would find them next to the park. Wrong. It took another 30 mins of searching before I found them. The search was worth it. 

After having found my nuts, the food kind, as I was still very cold...we made our way over to the tree just in time for the ice to be cleared off as a couple got engaged. Aww. Meandering around and looking at the lights and happy faces, I was happy. I felt the spirit of Christmas come alive within me, and I was excited to share in the happiness and the joy of the thousands of people around me. If you have never been to that are during the holiday season, suck it up, get over your fear of crowds and go. Don't worry, everyone, mostly everyone, is there for the same reason. To see a big ass Christmas tree with thousands of lights. Go. Take the kids. Take your wife, husband, girlfriend, the girl or guy you're crushing on, stand next to that big ass tree with thousands of lights, steal a kiss, give a kiss, or just hold hands and let the spirit and energy of the moment pass between you. 

"In a New York Minute," "In a New York State of Mind," "As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you’ll live through the night, Dorothy Parker"  There is an energy and a passion that you either have or don't have about New York City. You love it or you desperately despise it so much that you are vocal about it. A sense of love that can be express in words that inspire people to visit, move, become a New Yorker, or a sense of dread so thick that no amount of convincing will ever break the level of hatred. People from the farthest corners of the globe travel countless miles to see the city that never sleeps. Some never leave and some keep coming back. New York City, if you open your heart is an alluring and charming city with a world of adventures, sights, sounds, and tastes, ready to be had. 

I am sure there are still generations of true New Yorkers, names of families that are permanently etched within the steel and concrete fabric of the citie's architecture, that still live, work, and walk the streets hopping galas, galleries, fine dining, shopping, and the next talked about social event of the season, that still call New York their first home. By the same measure, I am equally sure there are New Yorkers that are also into the generations that are transplants. Migrant families, immigrants, and people from other parts of the US that call New York City home. People that have helped shaped the city to become what it is today. New York City is comparable to Rome, a metaphorical example I defined and explained to Sue as we were exiting the park. Rome is a melting pot of cultures, much like New York City. Rome is an old world city with an expansive and visible history. It is one of the only cities in the world that I have walked through that has so much living history. New York City, like Rome, just on a much younger level is the same. One bridge is made of steel and bed rock while others are made of steel and asphalt. Glass towers made of steel cast shadows on buildings built of brick, laid by hand of migrant workers looking for a better life. Like the flash of a strobe, "In a New York Minute," the city changes. 

I fall into the camp that loves New York City. I will not go into details as to why or what my favorite parts of New York City are. Rather, I will say, if you are reading this on January 6, today or tomorrow January 7th, I am in the city with Sue, building upon the wealth of experiences we like to collect. If you love New York City, we have commonalities and would probably be friends. If you have New York City, Im sorry. I will never try to convert you. I will respect your reasons why, but that doesn't mean I won't make great photos and share them with you. Keep a look out for the article about this weekends trip. 

Happy New Year: 2018, a year of unapologetic success

Happy New Year and welcome to 2018. Often times when I am commuting I drown out the radio and think. There are periods where I even shut the radio off so I can focus my efforts on the tasks at hand, the decisions that are weighing on my mind, and contemplate my next moves. Yesterday after helping my wife I took a quick trip to the grocery store. By the time I had then car in park and was about ready to exit and make my way to the store, a thought popped into my head. It is kind of a mantra I am going to rule 2018 by:

"Take what you want, be who you want, live how you want, create what you want, and most importantly do nothing that requires an apology."  

If you were to ask me what the most successful thing about 2017 was, I could compare two goals that were set during 2017 and were accomplished. 

1. Accomplishing a major financial goal (a very positive thing)

2. Traveling to California, booking some shoots, and experiencing the left coast on my own. 

These two goals were a testament to my hard work, my desire to do something, my strength to over come fears, and take charge to see something through to the end. Among these two goals I also had some other major successful achievements:

I moved/upgraded my studio, purchased a dream camera (Hasselblad) and made some great images with it, had a busy and productive year, worked on some very cool shoots, had some fun, connected with some new friends, and increased my health through changing my lifestyle. There were some obstacles to over come, such as the blogged about bicycle accident, working hard to achieve the above GOAL number 1. While I did set out to make number 1 a priority, it took a lot of strength to do so. The amount of effort set forth to achieve that goal seems more like a feat of strength, rather than just simple hard work to accomplish a desired task. The last two weeks of December were a trial of patience and tenacity and were fraught with some dilemmas. The patience that were learned are going to assist with some of the decisions that will be made in 2018. 

Portrait in new studio

Portrait in new studio

For me and for my business, 2017 was a year of growth, testing, and gaining an inspired desire to succeed beyond the limits that lay before. This first week of the new year is going to be dedicated to restructuring my business plans, organizing my work spaces for an even faster work flow, laying out plans to build upon the success of 2017. While there were some unforeseeable hardships that arose in 2017, some business and some personal, with enough planning and preparation, certain things can be avoided. The lessons learned are going to smooth out future bumps in the road. In 364 days we will be toasting another great year with more accomplishments and new lessons learned. 

For this year, for 2018, I wish you the most success you can work for, I wish you the best of health, lastly, I wish for you the most amount of happiness you can sustain. Health, wealth, happiness, in that order, really. You can't build wealth if you aren't healthy and capable, you can't be happy if you aren't wealthy. Before that statement is judged, let me explain. Wealth doesn't necessarily mean you're Mark Zuckerburg fuckyou rich, it means your bills are paid, money is coming in, you're saving, your enjoying life, you know what I mean? You can't be happy unless you are sustaining all of this. Money surely doesn't buy happiness, it buys freedom, freedom allows for happiness to grow and thrive. 

And lastly, do nothing that requires you to make an apology. Do not be mean, to not be spiteful, vindictive, or hateful. The world has enough intolerance and injustice, it doesn't need anymore. If you have an ego, 2018 is a great year to let it go so you can grow to a higher being. Just remember, you literally are no better than anyone else. Even if you think you are the best, You are not. There is someone right behind you and in front of you with similar or different skills than can do the job the same as you or in a different capacity than you. Do the best that you can, be the creator and leader people aspire to be, not fear. Fear doesn't command teamwork it deters success. A fearless leader will guide his team with strength and inspire them to do their best. Be the creator that people want, the leader people want to depend on for guidance, and be the person that people admire. 

Cheers to 2018! Below are some of my favorite photos from 2017. Comment, share, and like if you're into that sort of thing.

Snow: Black and white

After finishing up some work yesterday afternoon I took a walk in the falling snow. I have been dreading the upcoming winter and snow over then past few weeks. We've had so many warm days this fall that I just did not want the warm weather to disappear. I had been grumbling about wanting to go back to La to escape the weather and just work in the sun. But the moment the snow started to fall I turned into a little kid again and couldn't wait to get outside. After finishing up some editing I grabbed my Fuji X-Pro II with the busted lens and went out to a hidden spot. 

Its a well known hidden spot. There were quite a few people out walking in the snow. I made conversation with a few people as they passed by me. It was quite, peaceful, and beautiful. 

Hasselblad 500CM: A Legendary Camera

Inspired

So I bought a Hasselblad 500CM and I am super excited. I actually bought it back in September and have been using it as often as I can. There are a few reasons as to why I bought such a camera, read on! .If you were a commercial photographer working between the late 50's and the early 2000's, you likely shot on a Hasselblad and had an awesome career. Chances are you know more about them than I do or will ever know about them. I am learning as much about them as I can because I have a goal. My goal is to use film on commercial shoots. You heard it here and now and I will say it again. I want to shoot fashion and portraits on film There are quite a few photographers that I have come across that are doing so. There are rumors of film not only staying a live, but photographers that are working hard to preserve the continuation of film. The whole "Film Is Not Dead" movement, it would seem, is doing a great job of keeping it alive.

Ive said it before and will continue to say it. I grew up during the wrong time period. Film was coming to a rapid end by the time I really discovered photography. Rather, photography was taught to me and it discovered me. Some amazing work was produced on film between the 30's and 2000's and being a photographer during those years, you weren't saturated in a market or industry like today where everyone has a camera in their hands. If you were shooting film, it wasn't about the mega pixels, it was about film speed, shutter speed, f-stops, light, composition, and most importantly, the story. It wasn't about how fast you could shoot something and post to Instagram. The process was slower and more methodical. Something I am working on achieving in my work. 

Juliane, Brooklyn, New York City, September 2017, Kodak Portra 160

At the end of the summer I, once again, began thinking about a Hasselblad. I have never used one, owned one, or really had a chance to hold one. I used a 35mm Konica sir when I was in school. My first real camera, which was given to me by my aunt, and later a 35mm Nikon N80. I did shoot a lot of medium format film, but I used a Holga, a cheap plastic camera that I used to make a lot of artistic images. Since my business has been growing so well, I thought about how fun it would be to buy a Hasselblad and use it for the purpose of art. When I began Googling Hasselblad, it became very clear that I had the gear bug. I wanted one. I started looking at the prices and was a bit put off by a few of the online retailers that were reselling them. A few years ago you could get one for a steal. Today, not so much. I was joking on social media that hipsters who never used film were responsible for the costs being driven back up. Truth is, it might be a few factors, such as people like me, photographers who want to use something they never had the means to use, people that used to use them for work and want to play with them now, or people that just want to try using film, whether they are new to it or used to use film.

I couldn't walk away from the idea, even with the prices being north of what I wanted to pay. I began watching youtube videos about them, which only fueled the interest even more. Then I started finding photographers that are shooting fashion and portraits on film. In fact, there are a lot of people who shoot on film, including photographers who shoot film exculsively. Not everyone is a commercial photographer, but some are great photographers who happen to like the idea of film as much as the results of film. It was during my Youtube research that I discovered how easy it is to process color film at home. Really easy as I have discovered. My formal education in film photography. I spent a lot of hours in the darkroom, something I miss. 

Why Film

Why not? Right? But no, for real. Film is film and film has its place in the world still. Over the last 10 years I have shot a bunch of film. I went through a period shooting Polaroid, the professional stuff that was discontinued like a year or so ago. When I was shooting it, it was stupid cheap. I was seeing packs on Amazon for less than $8.00. You could get bulk quantity, which brought the price down to about $5.75, the lowest I saw. Then, with no warning Fuji dropped a bomb and the prices went through the roof. Since then Ive used one pack and thats it.

Film has a look and feel, sometimes a grain at the higher ISO that has a texture that is to die for. Tri X 400, such a good film. I have been shooting a lot of Kodak Portra 160. It is a great film with nice tones. I will be experimenting with some Fuji film shortly as well as Kodak Portra 400. But in all seriousness, film produces something that digital does not, a tangible image that can be take right from the camera to the developing tanks to the film scanner and the pages of a magazine with almost no post processing with minimal to zero retouching, if that is your thing. Due to a computer upgrade this past January, I had to replace my film scanner when I bought this Hasselblad. I skimped and bought the mid range Epson 600. Its a good scanner, but it is no drum scanner. So again, the question, "why film?" To simply put it, each roll has 12 frames on it. That means you have 12 images to gain from 1 roll. In the age of digital, you can shoot 1,200 images in a heart beat and find the image you need. With film, you can not shoot on auto and make 1,200 images and just pick what speaks to you, you have to make the image through a strong, well lit composition in camera, and ensure that you have directed the image to be exactly what you want to see. If you are working on set and the art director wants to see something with motion, you'll need to ensure that you're on point with capturing motion quickly and effectively. It make take all 12 frames just to get that one image, but that is part of the process.

What will have been reinforced several times throughout this post is that I bought this camera to slow things down. I am in the process of developing my portfolio. I am shooting a Canon 5dS with a Sigma 85mm, using natural light as well as strobes to make the work I want to be shooting full time. I am integrating the Hasselblad and possibly other film cameras to be added, as I have a nice Nikon F4, another legend, and perhaps I will use a Helga on set...But I am using the process of shooting film and a Hasselblad to refine my abilities to direct models as well as the people I am shooting portraits of. I have been reading more and more articles about film used in both fashion and portraiture. 1 name comes to mind, a recognizable name, Platon. This dude is a legend in of himself, shooting some of thee most incredible people in the world and doing so on film. But a simple google search of photographers using film, or film and fashion, will bring up some impressive results. 

See, the thing is, with the internet and the times we live in now, we can learn so much more, that much quicker. This alone is helping people to learn about film and bring about a strong use of film in various industries, such as fashion. For every portrait shoot I do, I will shoot a roll of film. For every model test that I produce, I will also be shooting film. This is a goal that I am passionate about. Will film make me a better photographer, no, it will make me a better director, which will make me a better photographer. If I go shoot a dramatic landscape with my Hasselblad, I will get a pretty picture. If I shooting film and directing a model to pose and emote everything I want to see and do so without hammering the shutter button, I will be gaining more experience with communicating and directing, which is something I am working hard at.

First Impressions

When I sat down I was excited. I was handed a Hasselblad 500CM by the older guy who sat across from the Starbucks table at Barns and Noble. I eagerly opened the view finder and moved the camera around and looked for something to focus on. I moved my hand slowly until the image came into focus. I was happy. I was excited. I was sold. I found the craigslist ad posted in a city 90 miles away. The guy said he posted it there because he thought that market would sell faster than ours. Funny I said, because "here we are and you're selling it in town." 

In terms of a camera, a medium format system is far more complex than a 35mm camera set up. There are more components to the system. A 35mm camera has a body and a lens. You open the back and load your film. Some have lenses with auto focus where as there are others that are manual focus. A medium format camera system such as a Hasselblad have a body that takes a film back as well as a leaf lens which has the f-stops and shutter speeds in it, a lens that differs drastically from a 35mm sir lens, and the viewfinder, which can be changed out. The shutter is located in the lens, not the body such as a 35mm, which equates to that drastic difference. How the Hasselblad functions is vastly different as well. It takes a considerable amount of time to learn how to use the system, such as focusing and building the composition. If all you know is digital cameras and iPhones, expect a big learning curve if you plan to purchase a medium format camera. But for me, it wasn't about the glamour of using film, no, for me it is about how the camera functions, the process of focusing and composing, the process of setting an f-stop to work with a shutter speed on a leaf style lens. For me, it is a process of slowing down and thinking more. I want to be able to direct the shots, not let the shots be directed.

Lake Dunmore, Salisbury Vermont, Kodak Portra 160

Practice

Shoot. Process. Repeat. Film is funky and temperamental at times. It has a job, be exposed, record the image with the use of light, and be rendered in permanence through the use of a chemical process. It takes a considerable amount of mechanical skills to load film onto a reel in the dark. If you have never done so, it will take you a bit of time to be 100% fluent. When I was in school I might have ripped a roll of film or two trying to get it on a reel. Practice, practice, practice, I will keep saying it until you beyond confident and can get it done in seconds, not minutes.

Since I am shooting 120 film, the reel is wider to accommodate the width of the film. It takes a bit more effort to roll the film on to the reel smoothly. It does not go so easily when using a plastic reel. I have found that the natural curl the film has from sitting on the spool has caused the film to come to an abrupt halt when trying to load it. There are two little ball bearings on the left and right side of the guide entrance which are responsible for this. Super annoying. It took loading an unexposed roll of film in the light to figure that issue out. I am glad I did so, as now loading these plastic reels should go smoother and not take 10 minutes per roll. (Insert eye roll). The most frustrating part of this process now, is that I remember back to when I used to roll 120 film onto reels after shooting with the Holga cameras. Never did I have so much issue doing so. I feel part of the problem now is that I am putting to much pressure on myself to do so.

Robyn, Kodak Portra 160

Since I have been shooting so much color film, I have also run into the super technical dilemma of keeping the chemistry at the 102 temperature. What I have to do is run the chemistry under hot water, usually between 120-140 degrees for nearly 10 minutes before the chemistry gets to 102. By the time the developer, first step at only a whopping 3:30 (mins/secs), is hitting the film, the water temperature has dropped, which can cause the Blix, second step, to start to cool down. The Youtube video that I watched that showed how easy it was to process the film featured two guys filming in a kitchen and processing the film in basically a sink. They made keeping the temperature consistent, look easy. It is not. I am working to solve that issue. I am not sure if it is the sink itself or the hot water heater in the house... Maybe in the future I will post about it, but for now, I must deal.

Juliane, Brooklyn, New York City, September 2017, Kodak Portra 160

Lessons Learned

I have shot and processed about a dozen rolls of film. I have freaked up loading two rolls and accidentally exposed a roll of film while loading it on the reel. I can only imagine how many other people can relate. Back in the day commercial photographers would have assistants loading their cameras. The job was to get the film in the back and have other pre-loaded backs ready to swap on the the bodies when the 12th images was exposed on the roll. These assistants were the forefathers of today's digital techs and assistants. 

There is a little piece of metal that slips into the film back, the dark slide. I have forgotten to put that back in while unrolling the film from the back. I was told, thank you Youtube photographers, NEVER to take the back off while the slide is out. That is a mistake I have not made and will not make. I have seen a few frames that have this light leak that comes from the same direction. All signs point to the dark slide causing light to leak when I insert it back into the film back. If I am going to shoot the entire roll of film in one shoot, I will keep the slide out. If I need to stop shooting and put the camera away, I am forced to replace the slide in its place. 

Shoot More, Fail more, learn more, shoot more, Succeed

To alleviate the headaches of improper film loading in the camera, the processing reel, and to ensure things run smoothly and I have a 110% grasp on this new system, I am going to get some black and white chemistry and black and white film and shoot a ton. It is easier to process black and white, as you don't need to have the chemistry at a consistent 102 degrees. Plus I will reserve working in color on film for the commercial work that I want to do with the camera. It is incredibly important that I make using this camera a success. With the dollar amount already invested into the camera and the time thus far, I will not stop until I have taken this to the level I want to.  

We are expected to fail. Failure is part of the creative process. When I think back about my business, the images I have made, the projects I have started and either never completed or walked away from, I don't see a lot of failure. I do however see a lot of attempts, a lot of learning, and a lot of taking what I have learned and apply to current and future projects.  I try not to think about failures and what hasn't worked, because there is so much that I want to work, that I do not want to be brought down by any one thing. With this camera system, I want the process to be successful, not for the financial gain, but because, like I mentioned above, one of the main reasons for this camera is to slow things down and have a better directorial approach to my work. By my measures, I would say I am 80% successful.  

Juliane, Brooklyn, New York City, September 2017, Kodak Portra 160

Photography

Back in September I posted about my Fuji X-Pro 2 and a bike accident that I had. Since then I have not replaced the lens that sustained damage during that fall. I have no plans to replace it, at the moment. I have found that the lens produce some beautiful images even though it is flawed. This afternoon I had my small camera bag with me, which contains the Fuji X-Pro 2 and my new DJI Mavic Pro. Both fit perfectly in my Amazon bought camera bag. 

After I landed from a quick flight I decided to make some photos of the late afternoon light. My personal work is about light, shadows, patterns, and textures. This afternoon I wanted to produce a series of complex images that captured the light as it was setting. I relied on the environment around me to be the subject as I followed the light. 

The common thread that ties the following images together is not just the quality of light, but it is the use of shadow and space within the environment. You will also see a relationship of positive and negative space, how I compose the image to tell the story of how the light exists within the space. It is this thinking that allows me to create images of complexity that tell the story of a late afternoon light setting on an urban setting.

It is not everyday that I get a few minutes to myself to make some personal work. So much of my day is spent shooting, editing, or one or the other. Being able to make images like this is both fun and challenging. Challenging in the sense that I want to visually tell a story but I don't always have the time to do so nor is there always a story to tell. Enjoy.

Model Test: Jessa V

Thank you for following these posts. I have been so excited to share these photo from my test shoot with Jessa. If you have any questions about this shoot, reach out to me. Follow me on Instagram, twitter, or find me on Facebook. 

Jessa was excited to work together. It was great to connect with her. I wish her the most success. I know we will work together in the future and until then, I hope she continues to slay it!

When I think back to this shoot, the light is what really made for such great images. Sure I was using a great camera, sure I had a great model to work with, but at the end of the day, it was the light that really paved the way for us. You can't write a book and tell a story with out words. In the case of this shoot, the light and Jessa are the story. I feel like I told a pretty great story.